Seeing Clearly Now

Stretch marks. Seemingly the bane of every woman's existence right?

It was for me something that really bothered me for years. Every time I even thought about putting on a bikini I assumed every person around would be looking at me. They were in fact not. They were, like everyone else, concerned with themselves. No one was judging me. Just me all by my lonesome judging myself.

I figured my husband wouldn't be attracted to me because I just didn't have a perfect body. I mean really how sexy can stretch marks on the thighs & tummy possibly be? Plus add in the skin that just isn't quite where it used to be.

I could not have been more wrong in my assumptions.

My husband never ONCE told me he wasn't attracted to me and never pointed out a single stretch mark. It was all in my head. In fact he still tells me to this day that I am more beautiful now than I ever have been. I can bet your husbands or wives are thinking just the same thing.

This past week there have been so many posts, for some weird reason regarding women and stretch marks. And thinking they need to be perfect. It compelled me to put this out there.

It took me a long time to get past the stretch marks, I am not going to lie. I lived a good portion of my life trying to be the perfect version of me in every aspect. I was Martha Stewart in the kitchen. Bob Vila when it came the house. The girl who would never go to the grocery store without make up and full Vogue ensemble. Seriously. Didn't everyone strive for that?

Not.

It was really about 6 years ago that I had an epiphany when it came to my mind, my body and all of this senseless shit that I kept telling myself. I always thought that I just wasn't good enough. That I had to do my best to be perfect for everyone in all aspects of my life to prove I in fact WAS.

I am so so happy that person does not exist anymore. I woke up one day and decided that I was in fact MORE than good enough. I didn't have to be airbrushed and photo shopped. I decided that because I had these stretch marks they would serve as a reminder for the two amazing human beings that I brought into this world. Life is about so much more than worrying about perfection. Right now if I don't have my pants on inside out it's a good day.

Good Lord the pressure I put on myself for so damn many years. Only because I thought everything had to be that way, that everything had to be picture-perfect & magazine quality, right down to my body.

So this is the deal with me right now. I have stretch marks. I have skin that belongs to a 46-year-old woman and not a 25-year-old. My house looks like a dung hole today (tomorrow it might be better) but today totally in upheaval. I went to the grocery store, a massage and the post office with no makeup on and wearing yoga pants. No retinas were burned in the process.

You can bet your ass that I will be wearing that bikini on my next vacation, just like I did in Mexico at Christmas. I rocked it out and I will continue to, stretch marks and all. And funny enough, not one single fuck was given! #truestory

We all have scars and blemishes and imperfections but it is truly all those combined in that wonderful package that makes us unique. And real. And it gives us the most amazing stories to tell about our journey and this crazy little thing we call "living life".

I have stretch marks.

No retinas will burn today.